There's No Place Like Home

but what happens when home no longer wants you?

I didn't get back into residence for next year, and I don't understand it. I consider Lister more home than I do Vancouver now, I consider these people a second family. I look out for them, and they look out for me. I hang out in the lounge, I clean up after parties, I'm friends with everyone, I'm not a crazy drinker, and I help people out as much as I can.
I'm on the waiting list. 94th.

It's not going to happen, there are only about 300 open spaces. A third of the people who got in aren't going to drop out.

So.. I'm looking for a place to live next year. Scary. I may not even come back to U of A next year. Everything is so up in the air now, I was really betting on getting back into residence.

I'm devastated, and I'm angry. I got screwed and then bad luck found me too. I just.. don't understand. Some people on the floor are coming back that really don't deserve it, what did I do wrong?

I don't know. I could come back to Schaeffer possibly, but honestly? I'd kind of rather live outside of residence. Schaeffer doesn't seem like any fun at all.

FML. it's a terrible day.

The surprise goes down tomorrow, but I'm no longer in the mood.


It looks like it's going to rain in Edmonton. It's a sad day. Even the sky is crying for me.

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My Own Personal Hell

The table was wobbling all over the place, drinks had already been spilled all over the bench. A pad was stuck to the bottom of my shoe, and that overly gay guy kept screaming that he wanted to ''go shopping with these straight bitches!". The ultra violet lighting was a mistake, I could see way too much history... everywhere. I had a huge drink infront of me, but I wasn't drunk. Not even a little tipsy, plus Dino's hot friend that I was kind of interested in was a total let down. Not attracted to him at all. He cheated on his girlfriend at the club with 2 different girls. Man whore. No thank you. I don't even want to look at that.
How could it get any worse?

Shania Twain started blaring in the background, and about 40 people started singing along.

What did I do to deserve going to hell like this?

It's got to get better. It can't get worse.

I jinxed it, Taylor Swift started playing.

I had to get out of there. The place was disgusting - they decorated the bar by sticking pads all over the place. Everyone in there was trash. Dino stayed, so I cabbed home alone. I was glad to be gone, the people in Buddy's (the bar) freaked the crap out of me. Being from Vancouver, I've met people that are ''different''. The people that frequent Buddy's are freaking aliens.

Kanye and I are a mess. I think. I don't know. We yelled at eachother, I cried, we talked it out.. and we are going to try and be friends. I don't want to be friends, and I'm sad to be honest. It's been 6 months of back and forth and I really care about him. I'd finally allowed myself to fall for him. To trust him.
Okay, friends. I can do friends...maybe. I will TRY and be friends. I won't let my feelings get in the way. I will...try? and not let me feelings get in the way.

On a good note, I realized P isn't the one for me. This is a huge deal! I need to stop letting myself think he was a better guy than he really is. I should be with someone who wouldn't let me go so easily.

I was supposed to go to Mannville for the weekend, but I had this stupid essay to write. Finally finished it today. No sheep washing for me, just yet. Shawna, Dino's mum, was going to buy me easter candy. That's so sweet. I can't wait to meet her. I'm really lucky, all my friends here are so generous. Stoico invited my over for Easter weekend, and Dino's mum invites me out to Mannville. If it was Thanksgiving, I'd make a turkey thank you card. I'll count my blessings anyways.

I have something up my sleeve, and I can't wait to surprise everyone...

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