I See You Crystal Clear

I'm lying in my room in the dark. I plug in my headphones, turn on the ipod, and Adele's Rolling in the Deep comes on. Like the millions of people around the world, I simply adore her. I've loved her since before "21". But right now, in this very moment, I am connecting with her music as if it was written for me.

All the time I advocate not letting people push you around or manipulate you. I say "he can't do that to you! stand up for yourself!? "she can't talk to you like that, tell her to smarten up or you're gone'' but I'm realizing I don't follow my own advice.

Not only do I not follow my own advice, I usually go back for seconds, even thirds. Hell, I eat the whole damn buffet and then I have dessert too.

Kanye just sent me an invite to his birthday party after texted me out of nowhere. He said that I should come and meet the "wifey".

Look.

I have completely moved on. I am not missing you in the least, nor am I thinking of you. But let's cut the bull shit. I do not want to go to your birthday where you'll be a drunken asshole making out with your future ''wifey''. Do you not remember that that's the girl you cheated on me with? Why would I ever want to meet her?! I found out you were engaged when we ran into each other on the bus early on in the summer. We're clearly not buddies. We don't keep in touch. So why don't you go and fuck yourself.

Ugh. I'm following my own advice. Told him I'm not going to his birthday party and that's that. He doesn't need a reason, he doesn't deserve an excuse. I'm just not going.

Finally, I see you crystal clear! I've turned my sorrow into treasured gold, you'll pay me back in kind when you reap just what you sow.

Thank you Adele for waking me up and helping me realize that I can no longer be a doormat for anyone.

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