10 Things I Hate About... Life.

There are some things I need to get off my chest. So, here is a list of ten things I hate.

1) Bath bombs that take forever to dissolve.
Okay, so I found this adorable cupcake bath bomb in my closet and I thought "hey, I'm going to take a really nice relaxing bath and put this cute little cupcake in to make it special". Great idea, except I WAS IN THE BATH FOR 2 FREAKING HOURS and the bath bomb STILL hadn't dissolved. Eventually, I picked it up in my hands and crushed it into the bath tub. Cold baths are not fun my friends. I was so pruney, I looked like something you would find in an old woman's fridge.

2) Weak nails. I take a lot of pride in my nails. I spend a lot of money on nail polish, etc. and I like it when my nails look good. I like coming up with designs and I love it when people compliment me on my nails. It's a weird little habit of mine I guess. So when one of my nails breaks, it's a problem. My nails are long, if one breaks the whole hand just looks...stupid.
So, because my nail broke, I had to cut ALL my nails until they were short.
Now it looks like I have fat baby sausage fingers.

3) Rings that make your fingers green. What the hell? That's all I need to say about that.

4) People putting the wrong cd's in the wrong cases. Sometimes a girl just wants to play Sims, but I can't freaking do that when I open the case and Sims isn't there. Sims is like my chocolate - you don't mess with that. When I need Sims, I need it bad. How am I suppose to create a virtual fantasy world if I can't find the disc?!

5) Men in bars that squish you into corners. Back off buddy, I could smell your breath when you were 5 meters away - 5 inches isn't helping you get any of this. You looked cuter from farther away too, now I can see you're sweating and you've got your drunk eyes going on. As I said, back off. You ain't gettin' any of this.



6) This funky smell in my nose. It's from the stuff the oral surgeon put into my mouth for the dry sockets, but I'm getting really tired of this funky ass smell. Everything smells the same, and it smells bad. I'd even smell brocoli at this point.

7) Working out at the gym in a shirt that turns out to be too short. You know that moment when you're doing a sit up on an exercise ball and you look into the mirror infront of you? Well, it's an even worse moment when you look into the mirror and your stomach is showing, along with that roll you were hiding under your pants. Excusseee me, that's not what I want to be seeing thank you very much. I'm trying to get rid of that roll and having it infront of my face isn't making me any happier. Roll, roll, go away. Don't you dare come back another day.

8) Eating out of plastic bowls. Jenny Craig, I love you, I do, you're helping me lose a lot of weight, but I am sick and tired of eating out of those containers. Putting it on a plate doesn't help, because it just makes me focus on the fact that I need 3 times more food to make a proper meal. Fruit is yummy, but I'm sick of it now. I need to keep my mantra in my head- "nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels". I've lost 11 pounds now, I'm on my way!

9) I don't know what else I hate. Oh, yeah I do. Stupid secretaries who relay the wrong information. You dumbass, how are you working for a university when the closest you ever got to this school was a rejection letter? It's not hard to pass on information. Do it right, because you've really screwed me over this time. I hate you! You mean, mean person.

10) I hate cats. A lot.
Probably the most out of everything on this list. It should be obvious why, I won't even bother explaining.

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What Do You Get When You Put 10 Girls In A Condo on May Long Weekend?

A total freaking gong show is what you get.

Because we stayed in a friend's condo and predrank, the weekend was pretty cheap and most definitely worth it.

We went up on friday and drove back to Vancouver sunday afternoon. Meow Meow and I made a play list and we had some awesome music for the trip. We drove with the windows down, blasting ''Man, I Feel Like a Woman'' by Shania Twain and singing our hearts out.

As soon as we got to the condo, we started getting ready. The friday night there were *only* 6 of us, so getting ready was pretty easy and we were ready early enough to get our drink on. And did we ever. Cleavage and I realized our birthdays are close together, and we drunkenly decided to have a joint safari themed party. You're all invited. Black Magic was so drunk she couldn't even get her shoes on, and she will forever be reminded of her obsession with men that night. Who knows how many times she pointed and shouted ''BOYS!'', but it was amazing. We got into Buffalo Bill's and she whispers in my ear "Look over there, let's go pick up those guys". While I would normally go through with a plan like this one, the men she was talking about were about 40 years old with beer guts. I was tempted to let her go over and talk to them, but I've had my fair share of beer goggles so I decided not to torture her.


The night was going really well...into Natewoo and I got roofied. Lucky for Nat, she only had 2 sips of the drink while I chugged the rest. Bouncers were speaking with Australian accents (of course, we were in Whistler) and I was so confused I thought I was in the land down under. After asking for Dino 4 or 5 times, I blacked out in the cab. I'm lucky to have such great friends - Cleavage blockaded me on the couch so I wouldn't fall off, Meow Meow broke her nails getting me into my pjs, and Rainbows sang to me about artichokes.

Saturday came round (eventually) and we were all incredibly hung over. We spent the day relaxing and bonding. According to the game ''Things'', I am the scariest thing you can find under your skirt. I agree.




The other 4 girls showed up, and we all started drinking to go out again. Unfortunately, Meow Meow got sick and passed out before we could leave. We put her to bed and made our way into the village. At the bus stop, we were belting out whatever song we could drunkenly remember enough lyrics to. Some 30 year old ugly douche virgin decided to pester us on the bus ride, but we promptly made him hate himself and he left. We ended up at a club called Garfinkles and had fun dancing on the stage. Natewoo and I left early to take care of Meow Meow, and we ended up sitting on the kitchen floor eating popcorn and macaroni. Definitely needed some down time and we enjoyed ourselves relaxing. Meow Meow was up and running and other than a nice bump on her head, she was okay.

Sunday we all slept in a bit and cleaned up the condo. We went to the Mongolie Grill where Cleavage and I drank a record amount of water. We might as well have had ''hung over'' stamped on our foreheads. The food was great, but the company was better.

I had a truly amazing gong show weekend that I don't think I'll ever forget.

Don't pretend, I know you're jealous.

Ps, the tags for this post look like they could be for a porno.
But the girls made me promise I wouldn't show anyone the videos of the weekend, so...

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