The Ninja Lies in Wait

This is really overdue, all I'm gonna say.

November 2nd is a monumental day. What happens on November 2nd you ask?
THE TWINS CELEBRATE THEIR BIRTHDAYS!

Last year I got Eveera a diamond ring with a bagillion (5) diamonds on it. I had to step it up. I told her her present was coming in the mail,
and it did.

Kind of.

That weekend I hopped on a plane back to Vancouver. After sneaking up on PM, I pulled another mega ninja attack.

As the elevator doors opened with the twins in it, I surprised them!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWINS! The looks on their faces was priceless. Then I surprised Farrellkins in her apartment. Overall, it was really fun.

Lots of girls nights, hanging out, and going to bars. I had a great time.

Sorry I'm so boring, I haven't really slept in 2 days. I'll go get on that.

Tomorrow's mission : Christmas shopping at the West Edmonton Mall. aka Hell.

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I Am Such A Man

when it comes to relationships.
Not in a Lady Gaga ''no, I really am kind of a man'' way (she's gorgeous, but the whole ''my boyfriend likes to stroke my nub'' thing freaked me out a little, not gonna lie).
-
I'm in it for the chase, as soon as I know I have you I'm bored. I plot and scheme to get you to say ''I'm yours'', but as soon as you say it I'm gone.
It's terrible.
-
I'm kind of possibly a little bit maybe seeing this guy. We'll call him Kanye. He was easy to snag and at first it was really nice. He calls me all the time, says he misses me, talks to me about his friends,
-
but now I'm FREAKING OUT.
-
He told his mum about me! She wants me to visit her in Red Deer at christmas and meet the family! He wants to take me to the Calgary Zoo!
HOLY BANANAS WHAT THE HOO HAH HAPPENED HERE?!
-
I'm feeling overwhelmed. I thought I wanted a relationship, but I'm just not feeling it. When I'm next to him I'm all for it. Well, when we're making out I'm all for it. But before and after that it's like ''eep. I don't think I'm that into him.''. My brain keeps telling me that I want him as a hook up. I want to remain friends! But I don't think that's possible. He seems really into me and I know he's a relationship kind of guy.
-
Why am I such a cold, heartless beast?
-
I should be thinking about him, but I'm thinking about other people instead.
-
I'm a dick.

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May My Heart Rest In Peace

You're out getting high, I'm here pretending I'm in love

My last post was angry, sad, resentful.

heart broken.

-

Paul has been a huge part of my life for the last 4 years. For someone as emotionally selfish as myself, loving someone that much and giving so much of myself is a huge deal. But I needed to get away. He needed to get away. He's got a new girlfriend and a new life that I can't fit into. And to be totally honest - I have a new life too, and he doesn't belong here. In a perfect world we'd be living together like we'd dreamed and everything would be rainbows and bunnies, but in reality things don't always go as you'd planned.

-

I'm finally starting to realize that that's okay.

-

After telling Paul that I had been pregnant I had a really good cry. A really good long cry. By the next morning I was void of emotion and that was what I needed to talk to Paul and say goodbye properly.

In the past when we've parted ways it's been angry, and that in itself gave us a reason to start talking again in the future. I needed us to be neutral so that we'd have no more excuses to crash into each other's lives anymore.

-

I called and asked how he was doing. He wasn't doing too well, but that's okay. He needs to start feeling a bit of what I felt when I was alone and scared. He needs to start seeing what I did for him. I wasn't all talk - I really would have done anything for him.

-

By the end of the conversation, everything that could possibly be said was said. I didn't cry, I didn't yell. I was caring and mature. I apologized, he apologized. And I wished him luck.

I know some people think I should message Paul's girlfriend and let her know what's been happening. At one point I was going to do just that, but that's not my place. When it comes down to it, his girlfriend hasn't wronged me in any way. It was Paul that hurt me, it's not my right to break her heart. That would be vindictive and evil, and I'm no longer the kind of person that would do that.

-

Paul was the last tie I had to my old self, and I feel...relieved. Don't get me
wrong, I already miss him and I've already cried to multiple friends on the
phone about it, but the consensus is that it was the right thing to do and I'm
finally free.

-

We both are.

-

Ps I really hate how my blog won't let me space out my paragraphs anymore.

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With You, It's Always Midnight

are you blind? can't you see me standin' here waiting in line for you

are you mine? not just when you want to be, but all of the time

are you blind? dont you see me standin' here, wont you tell me what it is im waiting to find

you're right, i must be crazy

but i'd rather be crazy than right tonight

Paul messaged me on facebook out of the blue today. It was bizarre, because I'd had a dream about him that night and I hadn't done that in a long while. It was a creepy coincidence.

We ended up talking on the phone and it was pretty bad.

"What do you want, Paul. Honestly."

"I want to be civil to you."

"I'm civil to the people I see in the elevator, why take all this trouble to have me be an unimportant part of your life?

"I don't know."

I DONT KNOW.

Well great, thanks for coming back into my life for some unknown reason. Thanks for letting me know you still think about me, and that you regret what happened.

The ball was in your court and you fucked up.

You cheated on your girlfriend, you lost a good friend, and hopefully you always regret what happened.

I told him I didn't believe his apology. He told me that he never cared for me as much as I cared for him and that really hurt. But you know what? It's true. In a weird way it was good to hear it from his lips.

He asked me what I wanted to do and I told him that it was probably best for me to take him out of my life completely, for good.

We said goodbye.

I cried in my bed for awhile, then Comet and Gagsalot came in.They cuddled me and it helped. I just needed some physical contact. Then I texted him...

"You know what? I can tell you this now that we're saying goodbye forever. November of 07 I was pregnant. I didn't want to tell you because I wanted to protect you. You say you feel guilty, well I live with it every day. At least you get to forget about it."

I'd never told Paul because I wanted to save him the guilt and stress that I'd gone through. I dealt with it alone and only told my friend Sus when it was all happening. Because I would have done anything for him and because I didn't want him to leave.

He ended up leaving anyway.

Paul got emotional on the phone and told me I should have told him. He said he wouldn't have left, he would have dropped everything and come to be with me. ''It would have lead me right to you''. Bull shit. He's pinning this on me and making me feel like I was the one who did everything wrong.

Wrong. You're the one who left me alone. So fuck you.

I was going to tell your girlfriend what you did, but I held off. I'm too hurt right now - but you'd better fucking watch yourself.

You do not fuck with me. No one fucks with me. And I'm tempted to make you hurt just as much as I have.

Don't think you can randomly waltz into my life and make me feel like shit again.

I will ruin you.

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Lessons Are Important Mes Amis

I hope you all had as amazing of a time on Halloween as I did!
But those stories are for a little later.

I had a revelation last night.
I was thinking about Soccer Boy and you know what? He's not that nice. Well, he is, but he still has those boyish qualities that make him a bit of a dick. He flirts with me constantly, but when an opportunity to hang out arises he's nowhere to be seen.
So I asked myself the same question I've been asking for the last 3 years. ''My name is Emma ______, where are my balls?!".
I don't chase boys. I used to, but honestly..if I'm having to chase them, they're not worth it. I'm mature enough to see that now. So ladies, take it from someone who has learned the lesson at least 8 and a half times: if a guy's running, it's not because he wants you to follow. He wants to get the fuck away from you.
So.. bye for now Soccer Boy. Maybe I only liked you so much because you reminded me of P. I hope that's not the case, but it's a definite possibility.

OKAY.

Story time from Halloween.

I am introducing someone new into the blog today. We shall call him Ninja Turtle.

Ninja Turtle helped me sew my costume and was incredibly flirty. I'm not crazy! Gagsalot saw and confirmed my suspicions. For the rest of the night he was constantly near me, touching me, or talking to me. Near 1am (about 7 hours into our partying, we're beasts) he started leaning on me and practically lying ontop of me. Sure, it felt nice, until someone mentioned his GIRLFRIEND.

Umm... GIRLFRIEND?!

F*ck. You know what? Screw the *. FUCK!
Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

The guilty look on his face was pretty hilarious, but still. Girlfriend. I'm not playing that game again, I learned that lesson already. See? People, lessons are important.

That way you don't stalk boys or sleep with guys that have girlfriends.

;) I am a cauldron of knowledge.
(do you like the Halloween reference?)

For Halloween we had a floor crawl, but I learned my lesson (ANOTHER LESSON!) the first time. I stuck with my own alcohol...

...except for some Cariboo Lou.

Now, this shit is delicious but DANGEROUS. Seriously. Hide your debit card, cell phone, and laptop before drinking this stuff. You cannot taste any alcohol whatsoever and it will fuck. you. up. What's in it? 151, malibu rum and pineapple juice.

You know how I am about my malibu and pineapple juice. Of course I had to try it.

After sipping 2 of these, I realized that I could have no more. I wasn't feeling sick at all, but give me on more and I'll probably fall off the edge. I'd rather remember Halloween, thanks. This mix is so famous for being dangerous that Tech N9ne RAPS ABOUT IT. Yeah. Ok. See, that's hardcore. I'm not going to quote the lyrics, even though I'm tempted, because they are rude and involve... err... people having too much fun.

After the Cariboo Lou I probably wasn't as firm as I would have been sober, so he ended up leaning on me a whole bunch more. I didn't stop it really, but I knew that I wouldn't make a move and if he did I'd be out of there in a second. We ended up sitting in the lounge until about 3am with my head in his lap, talking. It was nice. While there's definite chemistry there, I think we might be able to be just friends.

And last night I had my head in his lap (on a pillow) while watching Troy. Again. Oops.

Nothing's going to happen, so I'm not worried.

Halloween was crazyyy. Kurtis dressed up as spiderman (I was a black widow spider! We were married in a weird, weird, way) and near 2am he found some rope and hung upside down in the stairwell. Now, this would be horrible if it were anyone else, but Kurtis is a genius. He's an engineering student, and while he gets the most drunk out of everyone, his brain is still intact. Who knows how. It was hilarious.

Some people from my floor and I were waiting for a cab to go to a club (we ended up not going) but we were getting bored, and we were drunk, so we needed something to do. So..we found a cop car and danced/sat on it... and took photos. No, the cops were not in the car, and no, they weren't nearby. Thank goodness.

Gosh, there are so many stories from that night. Comet found a boy that likes geckos just as much as she does, and I think she was going to jizz all over her creepy clown costume. Gagsalot was flirting with danger, aka Dan Vano, and I nearly pissed my pants from laughing so hard. You'd have to meet him to understand. Let's just say it wasn't the proudest moment in Gagsalot's life. Proudest in mine though...

On another note, we won in dodgeball last night! We've been so close to a win for awhile and we finally got one. It felt great, 4k, 4k, LET'S HAVE FUN! The chant finally worked. SCHA-WING!

We watched Jackass with our floor the other day and decided to do some of our own stunts... garbage can jousting in shopping carts, then while running; shopping cart jumps; and shopping cart bumper cars. Videos on facebook, maybe youtube soon. Lots of blood and bruises, but it was so much fun.

Paranormal Activity is the freakiest movie I've ever seen in my life, hands down. We sat in the second row because we were late. I have bad motion sickness. I get sick in the car almost everytime we drive somewhere. Even when I'm driving sometimes. I ended up spending the whole movie with my head between my legs and I was STILL terrified. I watched it online with Gagsalot later and man. Seeing it adds a whole new dimension. What I imagined was a bit scarier, but seeing it makes you believe it more. The ending in the online version sucks though.
...as I wrote this, the cleaning woman outside knocked on my door. Holy crap.

I'm a dork, so I'm seeing the movie again in theaters tonight with this super cute guy named Will that I met on the first day. He's the first person I ever met At the U of A! Potential?

Cmon, you're not surprised that I like 2 or 3 guys at once, don't even pretend to be shocked.

I love you guys, and thanks so much for the support!
I hope you had a great week. I love all your Halloween photos.

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Sex At 3am Isn't Good Unless It's Me Doing It

So last night I was excited that I would finally get a good nights sleep.

But I was wrong.

Just as I fell asleep, I hear *thump thump*. I wake up. I pick up my snow boots and throw them at the ceiling. The thumping stops.. for about 15 seconds, then starts again. HARDER.

Ok, person above me.. your girlfriend's head rhythmically hitting the wall woke me up.

I went out to the lounge and hung out with Chris and a cooler. We watched sports highlights and the comedy network until 5.15am when the thumping stopped. At about 4 I went upstairs into the hallway where the sexers were and knocked on the door. The moaning was so loud, I'm surprised everyone on the floor wasn't awake. They stop and I hear ''shit, what was that?" so I booked it back to my floor.

Oi.

Other than that, we decorated the lounge today. People bought decorations so now we have hands coming out of the elevator, chalk body outlines, cobwebs, bloody hand prints, caution tape, and balloons everywhere. It looks AWESOME. We even have a creepy sounds soundtrack that goes for an hour straight.

I'm planning on getting rowdy. Emma Hoskins rowdy, not average person rowdy. I'm allowed to let loose, but I won't throw up this time. It's another floor crawl, but I'm sticking to my own liquor.

Gagsalot is teasing her hair to test out what it'll look like tomorrow, and I'm really excited. I think it's going to look fabulous. She looks like a wind blown model, while I'm going to look like spider trash.

Nice.

Happy Halloween everyone!

PS Natewoo is coming in exactly a week. I can't wait.

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Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

I don't think anyone can honestly say they hate being in love.

I miss that feeling of being completely intoxicated by someone... in a good way.
Not in a ''I'm a stalker and I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I HAVE A SHRINE!" kind of way.

I was with him for nearly 2 years. I know I'm young, but I truly loved him. To be totally honest - I'm a selfish person. Yeah, I care about the people in my life and am fiercely loyal, but I know that over all I must come first. It takes a lot to get into my thoughts and even more to get into my heart. The people in my life understand that they're lucky to be there, because not a lot of people are in the same position. This isn't bragging, it's being honest. I'm picky, and I don't trust people easily at all. You're really special and amazing if you're in my life and I let those people know all the time.

So I know that I loved him. I would have done anything for him. Anything. I was so stupid to think that my fairy tale ending really would happen. It seemed like it was so close.

After a year of not talking, he told me he thought about me every day and still cared about me. That he knew one day we'd be together.

While lying on his chest in a park during a rain storm (possibly the cheesiest place ever, but it was magic) I asked him where he think we'd have been at that moment if we hadn't parted ways the year before.

''We'd be living together.''

And you know what? We would be.

we should be








I can't lie,

I'm still as in love with him as I was the first time I saw him.

(I miss you every day, and it doesn't look like that will ever change)

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I Am Cryin', Over You. I Am Smilin', I Think Of You.

Waking up pressed against you was a religious experience. The way your skin smelled and tasted after sleep sent tingles straight into my lungs that nearly suffocated me in the most pleasant fog of consciousness. I dream of your fingers running through my hair and your lips grazing the base of my neck.

You changed because I made you realize you couldn't love the way you were. But you changed too late.

How did you forget what we were like? How did you forget that I believed in you?

I cry for you all the time, but I cry because of you more. You take my breath away.

Oh god, the way your skin smelled...

If you aint here I just can't breathe. There's no air, no air.

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N1H1 is for Losers

Doctor: "Miss, you have swine flu"
Me: "*fuck* Thanks."

Swine flu isn't funny. Before I joked about it. "Ahh, you'll get swine flu! Haha!", but now that I've experienced the virus it ain't funny. At all. God it was hell. So that's why I haven't updated. I've been dying!

This weekend my floor had a bbq. It was really fun, actually. A bunch of people made 40+ burgers and hot dogs (remember, I have 40 people on my floor) and some people made salad and perogies. Other people bought chips and pop. Then we watched Shoot Em Up and hung out for a few hours. It was really relaxed and I brought my Pier 1 Import into the lounge. Lots of the guys tried it out and agreed that it is magic on your behind.

Tehehe.. boy that I'm practically in love with moved from across the room to sit next to me. I'm happy deluding myself that he moved because of me, so don't pop my bubble. He sat in my chair and when I sat back in it it smelled DELICIOUS. I sunk into it a little deeper. God that boy smells amazing. I was sipping on my coolers I bought and slowly sitting on his lap and ravishing him was becoming a smarter plan. Luckily I held off.

Then a few of us watched the 1989 VHS of the New Kids on the Block first album tour video. It was amazing. We're going to learn the dance to ''New Stuff'' or whatever it's called. The Right Stuff? Something Stuff. It was the funniest thing I've seen in ages. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile.

I bought a whole bunch of stuff for my halloween costume! I'm being a black widow spider - I eat men for breakfast. Even if you try and copy my idea, your costume won't be as awesome as mine. I have it ALL planned out.

We're doing a floor crawl for halloween.. I'm a little scared. I think I'll just stick to my own alcohol. And then I'll take advantage of the boy. Tehehe.. that would be wrong. But so, so, so right! For me.

I'm rearranging my room. Last night from 12-2am I moved all the furniture around. This is a lot tougher than it sounds. I've been sick and barely eating for 5 days so I was weak, and the furniture is at least 250. AT LEAST. But still, I did it. Photos when it's clean and finished.

Sorry I'm not funny guys, swine flu took it all away right now.

Stay safe, and wash your hands you dirty fuckers. If anyone re infects me.. you'll be dead by morning.

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Let's Clear The Air

Because really, I don't want to be fighting with one of my closest friends over you. We have no other fights except for over this stupid drama. So I'm going to clear the air, and put it all out there because apparently you're reading this.

You hurt me. Devastated me. Made me feel (almost) the worst I've ever felt. I used to tell you EVERYTHING. I never left anything out. I was having a really fucking hard time. I was fighting a battle against drug addiction and alcoholism that was much larger than anyone had ever guessed. I'm fine now, but at the time I wasn't. And you know what? I can admit that I was an alcoholic and did a lot of drugs because I had the personal strength to change and break the habits that I'd been living with, and I'm REALLY fucking proud of that. It might be the most important thing I've done in my entire life.

But while I was fighting that, you sometimes made me feel bad about it. I'd say I didn't want to drink, that I couldn't handle being around alcohol.. but there would be a party on and you didn't want to go alone. Sure, sometimes I wanted to go. The times I'm thinking about were when I didn't want to go, and I went along anyway. For you. Because I LOVED YOU. I cared about you like I'd cared about no one before, I didn't even care about Paul that much . Yet you'd get shit faced. You'd wreak of alcohol. Do you know what this did to me? I'd come home early from parties and I'd cry into my mom's lap because you wouldn't be sober for me. Not one of my friends understands what it's like to battle addiction and I get that. But I talked to you about it. You were there when I fessed up to it for fuck's sake! Your hugs and support meant more than anyone's.

You could have juggled having a best friend and a boyfriend. Yeah, we had that really shitty fight in November and I feel bad about it. We sorted through it though and I thought that meant things would change. But they didnt. They got worse. You fucking sucked on his fingers while I was practically throwing up while lying on his lap. What. The. Fuck. It's RUDE. It's DISRESPECTFUL. Sure, he's your boyfriend. That doesn't mean you can be obscene in public. This isn't just me feeling this way, by the way. I'm not going to make you question who your friends are, but don't ignore these words. Sure, it's the 21st century but that doesn't mean what you were doing is appropriate.

I felt really hurt and thrown aside. You'd come over and text under the dinner table (which really insulted my mum, by the way. She noticed. That hurt me too.) or you'd be on msn the whole time. Yeah, we had times where we'd both been on our computers. That's fine, I really enjoyed just relaxing like that. I'm talking about the times I just wanted to hang out with YOU, not your long distance boyfriend.

You jumped into that relationship really quickly and I get it. You love him. That's great.. but why couldn't you love me too? You may say you did, but I think you know deep down that I'm not being crazy.

It wasn't all bad. We had amazing times. Sometimes I still go through old photos because I miss them. But we've changed. I have the urge to call you up and cry to you about what goes on, because sometimes I still need you. I still need that connection we had. I loved you like a sister and soul mate. I think we could have been best friends for life. I wanted you to be in my wedding party, I wanted you at my 80th birthday party, I wanted you to send me letters at university. Our friendship wasn't fake. I need to apologize for communicating with you in September. I was homesick and wanted to reconnect, but now I see that that was a mistake. It's not meant to be, because to be honest.. I feel like I've changed more than you have. After I helped you that night you were super fucked up, you didn't say thank you. I had to tell someone to tell you to thank everyone else and apologize because they thought you were being rude. Instead you sent me a nasty email and got your boyfriend (who had nothing to do with this event) to send me another nasty email 2 MINUTES later.

Great, you made me cry a whole lot.. Hopefully it made you feel better, because now it empowers me. I still have those emails. When I feel my fingers itching to dial your phone number, I remember those emails and read them. You hurt me, and I'm scared you'd do it again. I think you'd do it again.

It's still awkward when I see you, but I try and act normal. Sometimes I wish I could run over and hug you, and sometimes I wish I could just leave so I wouldn't have to be near you. It's hard for me, it feels like my feelings flip flop every few seconds.

Even just writing this makes me want to call you. But I can't. I've had too many talks with too many family members and friends to do that. I'm growing up. I'm living my life. It sucks that I had to move away to do it, but it's good for me. I'm making new friends and I won't run into you accidentally. It sucks that it has to be this way, but it does.

Yeah, I'm slowly moving on. It takes time. You broke my heart. I broke yours. But I did it for ME, and I'm the most important person in my life. You said super nasty things to me when you were drunk and I won't ever forget them. Best friends don't tell best friends that kind of stuff. You mocked me, degraded me, made me feel like shit. And told me I talked too much about myself, but then you wouldn't open up when I asked you. No one else has ever done this.

So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings. This is different than saying "I'm sorry you feel like you're feelings are hurt'' which is what you do. That's not apologizing. That's not taking on the blame. And yeah, you do do it. Whether or not you realize it. It just hurts people's feelings more.

Yeah, I still hear about you. People talk. My friends tell me what's going on.
So I need to ask you, politely, after this post to stop reading my blog. This blog contains private details of my life for my friends. I can't make it private, because not everyone has a blogger account. I blocked you on facebook so that we wouldn't look at each other's accounts, etc, so I don't know how you found this link. It doesn't really matter, but it's making me uncomfortable. This is for my friends, and unfortunately we're not friends anymore. I don't look at your flickr or anything. I don't look at your photos. I'm asking for the same respect. It's sad, but goodbye. You can't move on either until you stop following my life. I understand that you're interested. It's natural. We were everything to eachother.
But that is over. For good.

I need to apologize to PM (you know who you are) for freaking out at you. This is a touchy subject and sometimes we butt heads. I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you, just the situation.

Update: PM and I are fine, as always. We're good at saying sorry to each other.

I know this post is harsh, I wrote it when I was angry, but I mean everything I said. I've had a good cry and a really good yell. I feel a lot better. But like.. we texted a little, things were getting a bit better, then I say happy birthday and you say nothing. Mixed messages.
Everytime I want to call or something, I look at the scar on my wrist and it reminds me of how much you hurt me. I won't let that happen again. If I wanted to get back with Paul, everyone would say no. This is the same. I'm sorry for everything I did wrong...

and now my conscience is clear.

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Can Anybody Find Me Somebody To Love?

Holy moly, sorry guys. It's been 10/ten/diez/dix days since I last updated. I know, I'm a horrible person and you all hate me just a tiny bit. Forgive me! I've been busy.

Lots of things to talk about.

Thingamajig One* Thanksgiving! After counting down the days for 6 weeks, I flew back to Vancouver for the long weekend. While waking up at 4am would be disgusting to some people, it was fine for me. I haven't been sleeping well at all so I fell asleep at 1.30 am and woke up at 3.30. I was way too stoked to sleep. I got on the shuttle to the airport, plugged in Comet's iPod (you're a doll and I love you) and played me a little Brandon Heath and Sarah Brightman. I was excited to get away from the snow and see the beautiful West Coast mountains.

I got into the airport and my little sister, Midget, pretended she had no idea who I was. I'm sure lots of people nearby thought I was trying to kidnap her. My mum didn't cry, and more surprisingly I didn't cry either. Letting you all in on a little secret: I cry like a little baby anytime something emotional happens. Movies, sad commercials, good lyrics in a song, you name it. Sometimes I'll lie and say I have to go to the bathroom so I can have a quick cry. Sad ain't it?

That night I went to see my older sister, Peach, in her NEW HOME! She'd already been there for 6 weeks, but to me it was like move in day. The place looks amazing. They've done a great job decorating and there is so much space. Holy jeebus. She's a Mary Kay consultant now, making some extra cash (drug dealer didn't work out...just kidding!) so if you want any great make up, let me know kiddies. Seriously, she had this hand wash stuff that was so delicious I jizzed in my pants a little. Not gonna lie. I couldn't stop smelling my hands - I was like a crazed fan who had just gotten to touch their favourite celebrity. I fell asleep with my face ON MY HAND.

After that, I went over to H2's house to surprise people that I was back home. Bunny, Meow Meow, Natewoo, Lizzypoo and PM were there. Unfortunately, Farrellkins was so wasted she had to go home early. Boo! And Black Magic was hooking up with the bf while ''sleeping at my house''. WOO! Glad I could help someone get some action. In the end it was a fun night. No drinking on my part, other than chugging milk with PM. Great times.

The next few days were spent with people coming in and out of the house. Saw everyone I wanted to (except my camp buddy! live closer, you fool!), and that really helped me feel better. Coming back was hard, though. 2 months until I'm back for 2 and a half weeks guys! Vancouver is safe until then... but when I come back, I ASSURE YOU there will be some crazy chaos. We're celebrating my birthday when I get back! 19 everyone - I'll see you there. Or maybe I won't if you're a loser. If you're not invited..you know where you stand.

Thingamajig Two* Glee. Please chill for a second and stop judging. Now, when I first heard about Glee I was like ''holy crap, drama kids watch this? I'll stay away." I'm a drama kid, but I'm not into the musical thing... BUT THIS SHOW IS AMAZING. A-M-A-ZING. I've watched all 7 episodes today and I can't wait for wednesday (that's when the next episode comes out). Please guys, watch this show. I promise it will blow your socks off. Fin is so cute.. so, so, so cute. Not to mention Will. Can he please take his shirt off again?! Just once. I was really sceptical, but the script is hilarious, the music is great, and the plot line is new and exciting. You have no idea what's going to happen next and I'm saying that truthfully. If you don't watch it, you're missing out. The woman who plays Emma, Jayma, is so funny. She's perfect and I adore her.

<3

Thingamajig Three* Relationships. Congrats to Black Magic on possiblity the cutest bf any of us have ever had! RIP Shoes and Draham (Draham, shape up! put on your Nike panties and just do it!), Natewoo and Shorty (no matter what you say, you didn't see it coming, but nice try), and soon to be RInotsomuchP Oxymoron and Air Pumps (song lyrics are coming into my head.. ''look who's alone now, it's not me... it's not me." thank you James Blunt). Karma's a bitch and I hope everything you lost was worth it.

On a brighter note, Comet has a scruffy hotty and Gagsalot has her eye on Stoner! Soccer Boy is still in my heart but I'm not rushing anything. Drama/Choir boy (whatever you prefer to call him) has been making my heart flutter again. Damn him.

Why do I feel like a gossip columnist?

Thingamajig Four* Does anyone remember those fake nails I wore for my 18th birthday? Well, I've got them on now for fun and JEEZE LOUISE. Some people say pretty, I say protection. These babies come at least a centimeter off my nails and could claw out anyone's eyes in a single swoop. Laura Croft had guns and tighter abs than I'll ever have, but I have these puppies to help me along.

What else? Thingamajig Five* Note to self: Dont relax the BC way in your room. Do it outside.

Thingamajig Six* Did I mention Glee? Yeah? Well. Read again.

Thingamajig Seven* Comet you are the cutest! She says she checks my blog daily. I find this very flattering. Not to mention the super nice things TashSait (from Vancouver! I'll come up with a better nickname when it's not 1am) said the other day. You brightened my mood!

On a side note, guys,

http://kidshealth.org/teen/safety/safebasics/rape_what_to_do.html

Please learn to protect yourselves, and if you need anyone to talk to there are plenty of relief hotlines. Or even me. Even if you don't know me personally, send me a message and I'll listen.

This may seem random and out of the blue, but seriously guys. It can happen to ANYONE. Whether you're the quiet girl at a party or the outrageous confident one. Even guys.

Stay safe, you hear? No means no. It doesn't matter if you invited the guy into your room, if you knew him beforehand, or what you're wearing. No one asks to be raped or violated in anyway. Rape doesn't just mean forced intercourse.

683,000 forcibles rapes occur every year,
which equals 56,916 per month,
1,871 per day, 78 per hour,
and 1.3 per minute.

In the time it took you to read that, one more person was raped.

I've recently joined the Me to We Mobilizers group on my campus and it has really opened my eyes. Reading about the things that happen in our world may be horrifying and scary, but it's a neccessity. Reach out. If you're in the Edmonton area, check out this crazy awesome event:

http://www.facebook.com/events.php?ref=sb#/event.php?eid=176446754873&index=1

It's this Thursday. It will change your life. If you're not on Facebook, why are you hiding under a rock? (6.30pm to 9.30pm, Room 1-013 in ETLC at the University of Alberta).

..one last, very important thing.

F YOU MIDTERMS! I WILL CURB STOMP YOUR MOTHER!

Yup. I went there.

xx Peace easy everyone,

til next time.

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I Want To...

• Go home.
• Never see a film studies assignment ever again.
• Jump out my dorm window...

... but the screen's in the way.

Oh my god I have so much homework mybrainjustmightexplode. Why didn't I do this earlier? Oh, right, BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT.
I haven't been sleeping. I haven't slept during the night time in... 3 days.
Vampire?

I'm stressed. I'm listening to James Blunt, bursting into tears randomly, and facebook says I'm 63% in love, but I don't know who with anymore.

OhmygodIcan'tgetallthisdoneI'msoscrewedI'mgoingtofailoutofuniversityandbecomeahomelesspersonjustlikeI'dalwaysfeared.

Oh.. and I'M HOME IN 34 HOURS.

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We're Dropping Like Flies

8 days until I come home!

STDs, skanks, and illnesses float around university dorms like dust particles...

If one person on the floor is sick, everyone is going to get sick... it's only a matter of time.

I've been sick twice here so far. Once with tonsilitis and once with a cold. While viruses are a problem, another issue has popped up.

Food poisoning. Comet and quite a few other people I know have gotten really sick. Luckily they're all okay now, but it was terrible at the time. Everyone's cautious of The Marina food downstairs. I think it was the eggs and the fish.. they use the same utensils for everything, so we'll never know.


On another note, I have a rant.

Men.

Big, hairy, sweaty towers of strength and masculinity.

For example,
this guy.


I'm going to try and keep my mind out of the gutter while I write this.

This guy is confident. Sexy. Probably has women falling over their own feet to get to him.

For argument's sake, we'll say that this is the typical man.

(I wish...)

Now, most guys like to think they're this guy, and unfortunately us ladies find ourselves disappointed 99.9% of the time because in reality, most guys end up being little boys.

Crying, overly dramatic, immature little boys.


So, I met this guy. We'll call him Radio Guy. He's 23 and incredibly good looking. Not the usual type I'd go for, I prefer the scruffy ones, but even I can admit he's gorgeous. Incredibly fit with a beautiful smile.

At 23 I assumed he's more mature than the 19 year olds I'm used to.

But no.

If it's even possible, he's MORE immature. I didn't do something he wanted, so he HUNG UP THE PHONE ON ME.

He could not have chosen a more highschool girlesque move if he'd tried.

I used to hang up the phone on my mum when she irritated me... back in grade 10, when I was 14.

What is happening to the world?!

If you want the girl, be respectful. It doesn't turn me on when you joke about jacking off and wiping your ass (another story for another time). In fact, it makes me think you're crude and uneducated. Be polite. Show me you have manners and appreciate the fact that I have a brain. If you wanted a slut, I can point you downstairs to a girl on a different floor.


I'm tired of dating little boys.

I'm not your mother. Go cry to someone who gives a shit.

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I Want To Kiss A Girl, Hold Her Tight, Maybe Make Some Magic Tonight

This week is always rough for me.

On one hand, it was my older sister's birthday on the 21st! Happy *24th* birthday ma sista!
(if you want to know her real age, I accept bribes in the form of cheques, presents, cash, and exceptional poetry)
I definitely wish I could have been back home on the west coast to celebrate with the family. Being away at school, I've missed out on celebrating both of my sisters' birthdays.
I'm so used to being there to join in on the fun, it's not easy hearing the stories on the other end of the phone. I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but a bit of me does. My heart aches to be missing out on these memories.

On a sadder note, September 21st was also the third anniversary of Alex's death.
No details are needed here, just a "RIP, I'm still thinking of you''.

I didn't do anything really interesting this week unfortunately.
I saw a play at the Timm's Center for Performing Arts that involved male genitalia.
I was 'lucky' enough to be sitting front row center... right where the penis was pointed.
It was unimpressive, unfortunately. I mean, if I'm going to pay $24 (I bought a flex pass) and there's penis in a show, I want to see "PENIS! let me squirm in pleasure'' not ''oh god...penis AHHH traumatizing!!''. Let's just say the actor didn't get laid after his performance.

A song just came onto Comet's ipod. All I heard was ''i'm so horny....'' then I changed it.
That reminds me! Comet's love interest turned out to be a bit of a jerk :( . It's rumoured he told the guys on our floor that his goal for the year is to sleep with 30 girls.
Comet's strong and independent, she doesn't need him, and she's moving along nicely. She says she no longer has feelings for him. Whether or not that's true, I commend her for being so dignified. It takes a lot of strength to leave your feelings behind like that.

MMM! Strawberry poptart! I recommend them to anyone.

Yesterday, Blue Eyes (Comet's roommate), Comet, and I went out to Superstore and Dollarama. That place is amazing. EVERYTHING is a dollar. Things that usually cost $20! Amazing! All the stuff I bought should have added up to about $50, but came out to only $16. Now I have a cool Marilyn Monroe scarf hanging on my wall. Life complete.
We also bought some shot glasses and today I decorated mine with gems and paint. I made it look like a corset and wrote ''thou shalt not get drunk...'' on the other side.

I should have thought about that last night at the Floor Crawl.
Let me explain Floor Crawl.

Everyone gets into pairs and makes a drink. Comet, Gaga and I decided to make Purple Tornado Jello Shots. This includes far too much vodka, grape juice, grape jello, and water.

Makes about 50 shots...
2 pkg grape jello
4 cups boiling water
1/3 of a 40 of vodka (but this is up to you, ours were strong). recommend: 1 cup of vodka
1 cup grape juice

Boil your 4 cups of water and mix in jello packages. Let cool. Mix vodka and grape juice in.
For fast set: put ice cubes into shots, take out when mixture starts to harden.

We didn't have a lot of time, so we put them in the freezer for about 45 minutes and they turned out great.

Warning: these taste great, and you'll most likely have way too many of them...
...like I did.

The point of Floor Crawl is to get trashed. Out of your mind trashed. You end up trying all these different shots and mixing a lot of alcohol. Some people have gin, some people have vodka, some people have tequila. There were ''Fresh Pussy'' shots, B 52s, viper shots, etc.
I tried one of everything (minus the viper shots, I learned my lesson about those awhile ago...) and was feeling fine. My problem is that the alcohol hadnt hit me, so I'd continued on trying new drinks.

This is when I hit the proverbial wall that is called Emma's Alcohol Tolerance.
I crashed face first into that wall and metaphorically broke every bone in my body.
I have never been that intoxicated before, nor have I ever been that sick.

I used to love the feeling of losing control when I was drunk, now I don't know why.
It took me about an hour to go from sober to ''holy crap, am I DYING?!".

Lots of alcohol + short period of time + not thinking properly = effed. up.

I really don't suggest drinking that much to anyone. Unless you have a death wish, or find barfing up your weight in liquid attractive.

Within 90 minutes I was blabbering, rolling on the floor, and not able to see a thing. Saying I had the spins is an understatement. I felt like I was on a demented Disney ride that was trying to suck my brain matter out of my ears.

According to friends, I really wanted to play Jumanji and wouldn't go into the lounge because Gaga told me there were tigers there.
Oh dear lord.

After lying on the hallway floor trying to get to the bathroom, I retreated to my room.
The girls on my floor (bless you all) took care of me, but I soon found out that the alcohol wasn't going to be staying in my body.

[insert ____ amount of time, throwing up in the bathroom]
I threw up 3 or 4 times in the bathroom. Go big or go home, eh?

I made it back to my bedroom, who knows how, where I threw up twice more into my garbage while sitting in my bed. I started to pass out (I guess black out would be the proper term) while listening to the Backstreet Boys. For some reason, as long as I could hear the boys singing I didn't need to throw up. Weird how your mind works.
I tried sleeping on my right side to face the fan, but the spins were too bad. I lay on my left side with my hands pressed against my wall, along with my face and legs. I woke up with the wall imprinted on my face. Sexy.
Why did I do this? "I needed to know where the hell I was".

I woke up this morning feeling fine, but that's only because I went to hell and back last night.
In NO WAY was all the drinking a good idea, and while some people probably laughed while reading this (that's the idea of the blog), I really don't recommend this to anyone.
It wasn't fun at all. I cried a lot, and felt really embarassed.

I repeat, I AM NOT RECOMMENDING THIS TO ANYONE.

To go in a completely different direction, I painted my nails today. I used my kit, and decided to make a blog showing you guys how to do the crazy stuff I'm doing to my nails.
It's going to be an easy, inexpensive tutorial :) .

http://letmenailyou.blogspot.com/

Check it out! Photos up soon.

Peace easy guys,
x

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If You're Not The One..

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away

And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today

‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right

And though I can’t be with you tonight

You know my heart is by your side

I wish that you could be the one I die with

I hope I love you all my life

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Misunderstood

I don't think I'll ever understand why I can't grow old with you.

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You, I'm Gonna Take You To A Gay Bar!

It has come to my attention that I've left a few things out of my blog that I should have mentioned!

Thingamajig 1) Choir Boy. The boy that we thought was smart, funny, and decently good looking.
It was a big lie. He is a d-bag. He's not that smart, he's really not that funny, and when you look at him closely it seems that he's been hit in the face by a slow moving object. Multiple times.

Bitter? No way. Never.

He's in Free The Children and apparently this makes him rebellious. Interesting. Good enough to two time me before we've really even started dating.

First of all, a girl with cleavage like mine doesn't date a guy with a face like his.

Secondly, while I seem much quieter than him (maybe that's because I can never get a word in) I have a much higher IQ. Well, it's not hard having a higher IQ than a doorknob, but still.

After going on our date (he called me out of the blue and asked me for dinner - he had reservations made) he texts me saying he's seeing a girl in Toronto from Free The Children. They're trying it long distance, but they've both agreed that they can date other people. Choir Boy says that we can still date if I want to. IF I WANT TO? No thank you. I'm not desperate.

He keeps trying to talk to me and be friendly, but I'm not having it right now.

Shoes (a guy in my drama class) is planning on getting Choir Boy to the gay bar with us so we can set Ass Raper on him.

Who is Ass Raper you ask?

Thingamajig 2) Well, Shoes and I went to Play, a gay bar on Jasper Avenue last night with the U of A OUTReach group. This is a group for lesbians, gays, bisexuals, etc, and the people who support them (being me). I was the token straight girl, it was awesome. We met up with a group on campus and headed off. Almost immediately Shoes spots Draham, a cute first year drama major just like us. They start talking. And talking. And talking.

We get to the club and we've become a threesome. We're having tones of fun drinking drinks with rude names. I had to get the boys to order the drinks for me because I couldn't say their names. Yes, the P and C word were involved.

Anyways. We start dancing and this gay guy taps me on the shoulder and twirls me around. He asks me to dance with this crazy look on his face so I said no. He didn't take no for an answer. He started thrusting against my butt with one of the most awkward boners I've ever felt in my life. He was thursting so hard that I got propelled forward into Draham and Shoes. They formed a blockade around me and Shoes sacrificed himself for my butt virginity.

We forced our way out of the dance crowd and it felt like being born - you shoot out of there like no one's business. I was laughing so hard I was crying. I haven't had this much fun in awhile.

We go back to dancing a little later and Ass Raper finds me again. I agree to dance and he whips me around so my back is facing him and he grabs onto my hip with one hand and my chest with the other. People cheer and I was terrified. Shoes and Draham look at me with their eyes wide open so I decide to get into it. I hold my hands above my hand and Ass Raper holds my hands.

I free myself eventually. He tells me he loves me. I am satisfied.

I was dancing on a mini stage podium area with the boys and decide that I am going to slutty dance.

And you know how I get when I slutty dance.

I was shaking my hips like Shakira and I think I turned some gay guys straight.

The good thing about gay bars is that you don't care what you look like (there wasn't a straight guy to be seen) and everyone is so happy. It's like a little community, they all take care of each other and love one another. Not in a kinky way guys, get your minds out of the gutter.

So all in all I had a great night. And so did Shoes and Draham! I think they're an item now.
I have done my good deed.

xx miss you all.

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Ring The Alarm! I've Been Through This Too Long

10:45am. Fire alarm. Evacuated from Humanities building. Not a drill. Someone walked through an alarmed door.

2:05pm. Fire alarm. Evacuated from Rutherford library. Drill. Had been waiting in line for a computer for 30 minutes, had only just gotten on one.

4:30pm. Fire alarm. Evacuated from Lister center. Not a drill. Someone was making garlic toast and burned it. Was in the bathroom.

Not pleased. Not pleased at all.

Last night I was feeling really homesick and had a good cry on the phone to my mum and dad.
I was having an early night and was lying in bed at 10:30. By 11:00 I was asleep. At 11:30 I'm woken up by severe pain on the top of my left shoulder.

My ipod dock fell off the top shelf above my bed and landed square ontop of my shoulder. I bit my lip and tried to take deep breaths. What I really wanted to do was throw my ipod dock out the window, but lucky for the ipod, I have screens on my window for that exact reason.
I have an impressive bruise on my shoulder and my right shoulder aches from carrying my bag all day.

Fml. Edmonton hates me, but as Heschl says ''electricity is just an illusion in Edmonton''.

Quote of the week: Z's pen breaks in film studies, and instead of saying something like ''shit!'' she says ''COCK!!". Never heard that before. I proceeded to laugh until I cried.
Note to self: wear waterproof mascara around Z.

Ah! M, the dodgeball nazi, slept with 17 guys in 14 days last year.
Impressed, or disgusted? I'm torn.

I'm going to buy a fish on friday at the West Edmonton Mall, and that is that! He shall be my buddy.

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Do Not Enter (My Pants)

Last night was res fest and it was a lot of fun...if you ignore the kick to the face, the drunken girls falling backwards, and the sweaty armpits in your mouth.
Yes, in your mouth.

Leather Jacket Club, Shiloh, The Latency (Vancouverites!), and 10 Second Epic played live and that was freaking awesome! The Latency were the best, personally, but I'm a little biased. I bought their cd after their show and Comet and I are burning it onto our laptops. The lead singer is gorgeous. I was close to jumping on stage and ripping his clothes off. When I say close, I mean really really close. My fingers were tingling, not to mention other places.

I'm ready to throw my laptop charger out the window. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I don't have $150 to shell out to buy a new one.

Computer dying. Will write more later.
FML.

I'm back a few hours later on Comet's computer. I was finally in my writing groove. Damn you computer, damn you.

Comet and I were floor housewives tonight and made the boys macaroni. We had a dance party in the kitchen and belted out ''You're So Vain''. The macaroni hit the spot - deeeeelish.
Comet is really into a boy on our floor and he happens to be a twin. She said, completely seriously, that she will make a ''twin sandwhich''. If I see one of the boys walking around looking traumatized I'll know what happened.

Gaga danced with a boy last night, Scarf Boy, that we all thought was gay. Turns out he's not - he tried to make out with her, braces and all. She solidly rejected him. Sorry, Gay Scarf Boy. Better luck time.

L and I went moshing and it was great. We started at the back of the crowd and somehow ended up front row center. It was PACKED. I got a lot of aggression out.

See? Now that I stopped writing I've lost my humour. I'm no longer funny and creative. I can't even remember what I did the past 2 days.

I've tried every flavour of Vitamin Water. That is actually pretty impressive when you think about it. Every. Single. Flavour. XXX and Grape are my favourite. 50 Cent being on the side of my bottle makes my life that bit sweeter.

I've been cleaning my room today which means I read 2 books. 2 full books. I'm very productive.
I'm being assigned an essay in English tomorrow and I just may crap my...boxers.

I've lost my humour like an 18 year old loses her virginity on prom night.


On a side note, I'm feeling weird about boys. As sad as it is, I can't get P out of my head. Life would be so different if we were together. As he said - we'd be living together. Most guys are here just to hook up (as are the girls), but I'm not the type of person to hook up with 3 guys in 2 days.

I miss you all! xx

New development: I was playing restaurant city on fb and all I got was a potato today. I've been waiting TWENTY FOUR HOURS for a POTATO?! I really do need someone to obsess over.

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Just Looking Around

Before I start, I must send out a shout out to the lovely Pammy K for reading. I wish you were my twin, because that would mean I was damn fine too.

Gagsalot now has a learning disability alongside her other illnesses. I'm predicting a tumour or syphilis in the near future.

Not too much has happened lately. My bar fridge is actually warmer than it is in my room so i'm using it as a microwave. Pizza pop? Leave it for 4 minutes and it'll be ready to go. Bam baby!

M and I stayed behind when people went to the waterpark tonight and did some crazy stuff.

This place was "bumpin"! We got ahead in our classes and did laundry together. I know, you guys are so jealous at how wild we are. It was wilder than watching pornos on a tuesday night.

Res fest is tomorrow night and I'm super excited. It's going to be a huuuge party and I cannot wait.

I think tonight I'll sleep in my freshly dried laundry. That way I'll smell delish in the morning and I'll be warm all night. Maybe my mattress won't fall off the bed too.

Black Magic and Meow Meow are at Keane tonight and I'm super jealous! I definitely wish I was there. It's okay though, I'm going to PitBull and that will rock my world.

Gagsalot is in love with many boys. She claims she's just ''looking around''. I admire this.

But now I don't - she just gave me a papercut.

I take back all nice things I said about her today.

She is the devil.

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Can I Kiss You?

Today was a long day, sans bee pollen Booster Juice.

I was kicked out of Spanish yesterday because I was too advanced (some say smarty pants, I prefer genius) and moved up a couple levels.

Now, I'm not the brightest star in the sky... I went back to my original Spanish class because I can't seem to read a time table properly. Who knows how I'm surviving right now.

After waking up this morning to yet more air balloons outside my window - 2 today - I got ready in a hurry because I thought I'd slept through my alarm. I couldn't find my phone in all my sheets and it was so light outside that I assumed I must have slept through my morning classes. Panicked, I threw my clothes on and ran a brush through my hair. I found my cell phone and read the time - 7.45. An HOUR before I was set to wake up.

As I said, I prefer genius.

H was wearing the same striped shirt this morning, but changed into a purple shirt for dodgeball. He's taking risks people, it's great.

On another note, Gaga now has a UTI as well as her original illnesses.

Comet kicked butt in dodgeball today and I managed to, well, dodge... my brain is still somewhat intact.

The first years went to a presentation called ''Can I Kiss You?" which started off strange and became weirder... ''if you were interested in me right now, where would you touch me?", "pussy!", and ''let's get the kids to bed so we can have some fun at 11" are some of the quotes. Parts of it were really emotional and I think it affected a lot of people. Maybe we'll see a bit of change, at least for a little while.

I may possibly have a date with someone that I will call Choir Boy. I'm not sure if it's an actual date, but I think he asked me out to a drama performance next week. We'll see how strangely he acts in class tomorrow. I'm not in stalker mode yet.

Just you wait...

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That's What She Said

I've really settled into university life.
I've had the neccessary ''I wish I hadn't drunk that much last night" hang over, signed up for dodgeball, and eaten gross cafeteria food that looks radioactive.
You know you're settling in when you sink into your bed and fall asleep almost instantly. Unfortunately that didn't happen last night - I fell asleep at 4:30am and had to wake up at 7am for class. I grabbed a Booster Juice on my way to class and had the ''energy booster powder'' which consisted of bee pollen. I'm not sure if it worked, but at least now I can say I'm not allergic to eating bees.

I'm a part of ''The Horrible Threesome'' which consists of Gaga (Gagsalot I call her), Comet, and I. We hang out constantly and are having some very good times. If I'm not in my room I can usually be found lying on Gaga's floor painting my nails or reading. Gaga is a hypochondriac and has so far had the following illnesses : chlamydia, gonorrhea, fever, flu, and cancer. We're waiting to see what happens next, I'm incredibly excited.

Oh, by the way, according to Gaga her hand wipes smell like ''a baby's asshole''. It's going on the quote wall alongside ''are you jerking off or choking a weasel?". Who ever said alcohol makes people lose their humour is clearly wrong. K spent about 40 minutes describing and coming up with an equation for ''why my morning boner was not a boner''. Something about ball sack < 15 being a hidden penis and ball sack being larger than 15 = propped penis. I have photos because I can't even begin to explain it properly. I'm not sure K can either.

I've only fallen up/down stairs once, and today I got kicked out off spanish for being too advanced. I also smelled, tasted, and listened to my drama room for half an hour. All in all, it's been a good start to the year.

On a side note, my mum's going in for surgery tomorrow morning and my stomach is in knots. You're in my thoughts mum, and I hope everything goes well!

xx

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Let's Get Together, Yeah Yeah Yeah!

The last 2 nights have been really fun.
I was having trouble connecting with people on my floor. I'm not entirely sure why.
Actually, that's a lie. I was starting to hide.
So last night when the girls asked me to go out with them, I said yes.

And it was great!

We all looked good but weren't too done up. I brought a purse my mum just bought for me and that was really helpful. I had my stuff nearby all night, but didn't feel like I was lugging a huge bag around. Anyways.

When we got outside res, we saw this big limo. I said pretty loudly (how else do I do things?) "how can anyone afford to take a limo? we're all poor uni students. i need food.'' and this guy came over, handed us all a shot and told us that we got a free limo ride if we went to this club called Lucky 13. Personally, I think it sounds like a strip club, but there were 9 of us so we got in.
We got into the bar and it was EMPTY. We each got a shot called a Porn Star (delicious!) and went to the bar we originally planned on going to, Union. We got in for free and were given $20 at the door for drinks. Fabulous!

We ended up splitting up a bit, but I was constantly dancing with D. She's such a good dancer! I definitely took some pointers.

D and Comet hooked up our friend Gaga (that's what I'll call her) with a guy named H. He's got gorgeous blue eyes and really nice brown hair. While I originally had my eye on him, I didn't mind. They danced all night long and ended up hooking up. He has a nice big hickey on the side of his neck. Endless teasing ensued.

Tonight, some of the floor hung out in the common room and just chilled. People brought some beer out - this is university, beer is a constant thing - and started playing games like Kings Cup (they call it sociables here) and Never Have I Ever. They're dumb drinking games, but we were all having fun and bonding.

This is where the trouble starts.
This girl that I met a few days ago, Lip Ring, started flirting with H. H didn't stop it, infact he was enjoying it and kept it going. Gaga was nearby. Uh oh. Lip Ring is a nice girl, I like her, but he has a huge hickey on his neck! Idk. If I'd seen the hickey I would have stopped flirting with him.
Gaga goes up to H and asks if she's wasting her time with him. A fair question! Since last night he's been acting like they were going to go out. Cuddling in her bed, holding her hand, etc.
If I was Gaga I would have thought something was happening too.
I digress.
H then tells Gaga that ''maybe we should talk'' and leads her into his room. He plays guitar and brushes her off, giving her the ''I'm just not relationship material right now'' line.

I smell bullshit, and it's coming from H's room.

I feel for Gaga. I've been in the situation where you have your hopes up and someone completely dashes them. *cough* P *cough*. It hurts a lot, and I think she's embarassed. She's not the type of girl to be a one night stand and her dignity is hurt. If she'd known he would brush her off, she wouldn't have kissed him.

Blah. Gaga, Comet and I had a lot of fun tonight though. We really bonded and I think they're people I can really connect with. We had a good long talk about boys and cheered her up.

Everything is going a lot better now.

On a side note, T, have a great time in Halifax! don't be too scared.

xx everyone.

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Naked All The Time

Living in residence most definitely has it's benefits.
You meet new people constantly, you have food nearby, you sleep whenever you want to,
and you can be naked. all the time.

Take right now for example. I'm sitting in my dorm room and I've got the lock on. What's stopping me from being naked? Nothing! No one's going to barge in on me and I don't have to be anywhere anytime soon.
I could be naked all day long if I felt like it.

On a not-so-naked side of things, I feel much better today. I got 12 hours of glorious sleep and a girl on my floor, L, walked around campus with me and helped me find my classes so I wouldn't freak out too much tomorrow. She didn't have to, but she did. She's super nice and on my floor.
One more friend, cha-ching.
We also went out to Super Store. We got on the LRT (like the skytrain in Vancouver) and got off on the last stop. Northern Edmonton is SKETCHY. We walked to Super Store, picked up 3 pounds of popcorn kernels - she brought a popcorn machine, very exciting - then we walked to the Super Store Liquor Store.

For all of you wondering why I moved to somewhere like Edmonton, Alberta, I'll now tell you why.
15 cans of beer. A decent beer. Doesn't taste like crap, doesn't taste like heaven either. Drinkable. How much, you ask? $15. WITHOUT TAX.
But who am I without my Malibu? a 26 = $21. This 26 is going to last me quittttte awhile, and I think $21 is completely reasonable.
Y'all are jealous.

So, so far school consists of beer and getting naked.
Guess I'm living the university life after all.

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First Night Mayhem

Last night I spent my first night in residence.
While I was far more sober than others (a glass door was broken!), I still had fun. There is one girl hallway on my floor and 2 boys hallways. My floor's theme is Wayne's World - I better watch it so I understand what all this ''sch-wing!'' business is about.
I'm on the 4th floor, and during the day the sun is on the opposite side of the building. This means that my room is light, but I don't get the heat.. I get the breeze!
You all know how I hate being hot so this is perfect. At night I get the evening sun which sends a nice glow throughout my room.
My dorm room is larger than I thought it would be, I have 2 windows that open and one that's always closed. I have 2 closets, a dresser, a big corner desk, and a shelf above my bed. Photos soon!
There's more than enough room for a sleep over or two :)
You'll all be proud - I set up my internet myself! Even though I'm computer inept most of the time I figured it out.
I'm currently setting up my new printer. No fatalities so far, even though I had to climb ontop of my dresser last night (3am - I couldn't sleep) so that I could reach the internet jack.
As an early birthday present, my mum bought me an ipod dock.
Now there is a constant stream of music out of my room. A girl down the hallway told me she likes hearing it, it means someone's always nearby.
Everyone is sharing their itunes with me so that I can download their music - I'm the party music girl.
I thought there would be more Arts kids on my floor, but I'm one of 2. Everyone else is in Phys Ed or Engineering.
My floor has the cutest boys - we scoped the tower out. The only problem so far? One of the boys looks almost exactly like a certain boy I shall not name who I was hoping to forget about for a long while. They could be twin brothers! Oh well.
Most of the girls on my floor already know each other from before - they're from a town called ManVille (sp?) that has only 700 people in it. This is half of my highschool as their whole population! It's crazy. It's a little tough, but I'm trying to make my way in slowly.
I just wish I could bring my best friends here with me.. I miss you all an immense amount already.
I'm excited for school, but right now I wish this school was in Vancouver so I could be back home.

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'Ello

I'm moving at the end of the summer, and unfortunately that means I leave family and friends behind. While it's incredibly exciting to be starting a new life, I most definitely want to keep the souls I've collected along the way updated on how things are going.

Nobody checks their emails anymore, so I thought I'd start a blog. Maybe this will be easier for everyone to follow :)

It allows me to goof around a little bit at 3am when I'm unable to sleep too.

I hope this works!

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