What Do You Get When You Put 10 Girls In A Condo on May Long Weekend?

A total freaking gong show is what you get.

Because we stayed in a friend's condo and predrank, the weekend was pretty cheap and most definitely worth it.

We went up on friday and drove back to Vancouver sunday afternoon. Meow Meow and I made a play list and we had some awesome music for the trip. We drove with the windows down, blasting ''Man, I Feel Like a Woman'' by Shania Twain and singing our hearts out.

As soon as we got to the condo, we started getting ready. The friday night there were *only* 6 of us, so getting ready was pretty easy and we were ready early enough to get our drink on. And did we ever. Cleavage and I realized our birthdays are close together, and we drunkenly decided to have a joint safari themed party. You're all invited. Black Magic was so drunk she couldn't even get her shoes on, and she will forever be reminded of her obsession with men that night. Who knows how many times she pointed and shouted ''BOYS!'', but it was amazing. We got into Buffalo Bill's and she whispers in my ear "Look over there, let's go pick up those guys". While I would normally go through with a plan like this one, the men she was talking about were about 40 years old with beer guts. I was tempted to let her go over and talk to them, but I've had my fair share of beer goggles so I decided not to torture her.


The night was going really well...into Natewoo and I got roofied. Lucky for Nat, she only had 2 sips of the drink while I chugged the rest. Bouncers were speaking with Australian accents (of course, we were in Whistler) and I was so confused I thought I was in the land down under. After asking for Dino 4 or 5 times, I blacked out in the cab. I'm lucky to have such great friends - Cleavage blockaded me on the couch so I wouldn't fall off, Meow Meow broke her nails getting me into my pjs, and Rainbows sang to me about artichokes.

Saturday came round (eventually) and we were all incredibly hung over. We spent the day relaxing and bonding. According to the game ''Things'', I am the scariest thing you can find under your skirt. I agree.




The other 4 girls showed up, and we all started drinking to go out again. Unfortunately, Meow Meow got sick and passed out before we could leave. We put her to bed and made our way into the village. At the bus stop, we were belting out whatever song we could drunkenly remember enough lyrics to. Some 30 year old ugly douche virgin decided to pester us on the bus ride, but we promptly made him hate himself and he left. We ended up at a club called Garfinkles and had fun dancing on the stage. Natewoo and I left early to take care of Meow Meow, and we ended up sitting on the kitchen floor eating popcorn and macaroni. Definitely needed some down time and we enjoyed ourselves relaxing. Meow Meow was up and running and other than a nice bump on her head, she was okay.

Sunday we all slept in a bit and cleaned up the condo. We went to the Mongolie Grill where Cleavage and I drank a record amount of water. We might as well have had ''hung over'' stamped on our foreheads. The food was great, but the company was better.

I had a truly amazing gong show weekend that I don't think I'll ever forget.

Don't pretend, I know you're jealous.

Ps, the tags for this post look like they could be for a porno.
But the girls made me promise I wouldn't show anyone the videos of the weekend, so...