I'm Not Ready To Go

You think you've heard this before
I'll try to say it differently
As long as it come naturally to me
It's been making me sad
'Cause I can't find a better way
To speak the words I wanna say to you

Know how I love you
And know how I need you

And I want you to know
I won't let you down
No, I can't let go

Once again, I'm packing. I'm in my room in residence surrounded by cardboard boxes and empty hallways. I've lived in Lister for 2 years now. I remember those first few days in my first year, I thought I'd made a huge mistake and wanted to go home. Once I let my walls down and got over how scared I was, I made this my new home.

And now I don't want to go.

I'm ready to leave Lister, I know I can make it out on my own, but I'm finding that I don't want to leave. Not just yet. I'm going to miss living across the hall from my best friends. I'm going to miss studying in the cafeteria until 1am. I'm going to miss the torn apart lounge every Sunday morning. There are so many things that I'm going to really miss and I regret not taking more time to appreciate it.

Last year was my party year - I went wild. I went out 2 or 3 times a week and had the time of my life. I made great friends and I was accepted into a new family. This year I made a lot of new friends but was much quieter - school came first. I don't regret it, but I know studying will be easier in my own private home.

Lister has given me so much. It gave me some really superb people in my life. I've made a new life for myself here. It gave me the courage to be the person I wanted to be and to not worry about what others thought. It gave me the opportunity to start over and not be defined by my past. It gave me the strength to say goodbye to the people in my life that were dragging me down. It gave me the perspective to appreciate my family and friends back home. Lister let me grow up on my own terms.

I'm getting teary writing this. I know I'm ready to go, but it's hard to leave my home. I know I'll make a new home for myself, but I don't want to say goodbye to this one just yet.

I just wanted to say thank you. These past 2 years have been the best of my life and I owe a lot to this place and the people who lived here with me.

I love you.

:)