Library Blues

All I do is study.

Yeah, you read that correctly. STUDY.
Last year I wouldn't have been caught dead in a library, but this year... I'm there every day of the week for at least 3 or 4 hours. I'm constantly reading, doing assessments and quizzes, completing assignments, reasearching, or preparing for an exam. Who am I, and what has happened to the old Shmemma?

The truth is, I'm almost 20. I know I'm still young, but I feel like I need to have my shit together. I should have a job, I should have a boyfriend, I should be working out all the time and I should have good grades. Already I'm rarely drinking. When the floor has a party I'm stuck in my room.



Well, I'm working on the job. I'm going to go and apply at this cafe near campus. I'll work a few times a week to get some money and meet some new people. I'm doing my best to work out, but it's hard when my hours are being taken up by studying. I need some "me" time, and it's hard to make the gym that period of relaxation. I'm working on it. All the studying is going towards good grades, so that's being somewhat covered.

Now, the boyfriend.
I had a date last night! We shall call him Business. I was so nervous I was shaking. You see, I feel like he's out of my league. I know - something else to never hear from my lips. He's good looking, he's athletic, he's (very) smart, and he's funny. I'm almost 20 and I don't have my shit together! I can't go near him. Well.. we went for dinner and a movie last night and it went really well. During the date I was sabotaging myself (as always) and questioning whether or not I liked him, but as the date was coming to a close I found myself wishing it would keep on going. I fell asleep listening to sappy love songs and imagining he was there.



I woke up with butterflies in my stomach this morning and it feels amazing.

It even makes going to the library a little easier :)