Safe Place

This is supposed to be my safe place. I was counting down the days until I could come back here. I feel more comfortable in my dorm room than I do in Vancouver.

But I don't want to be here right now.

Last night I lay on Queen's bed and sobbed into her shoulders. I couldn't stop saying "I don't want to be here right now". I'm almost 20 years old, 2 and a half years out of highschool and I'm still having to deal with highschool drama. All I wanted was my mum.

I don't know what is going to happen, and I don't know what I want to have happen. That's a scary thought. I need to get my life back and make it my own again.

Beaver sat in my room for a good half an hour and talked it out with me, but I still don't know what I need for myself.

This has completely blind sided me. I thought Dino and I had talked this out. I wasn't angry at all anymore and now I'm livid.

"Shmemma needs to fuck off or Tron will dump me". The old Dino I know would have dumped a guy in a second who would make her choose between me and him. The new Dino seems to be seriously contemplating it. I got to hear her say terrible things about me from down the hall instead of to my face.

I flip flop between destroyed and seriously pissed off to the point where I dig my finger nails into my palms.

I hate when people don't talk to my face and talk around my back instead. I hate it even more when people change and you start to not recognize them anymore.

He's putting his mask on her so she can't see anyone else.

I didn't think that was what love was.