You, I'm Gonna Take You To A Gay Bar!

It has come to my attention that I've left a few things out of my blog that I should have mentioned!

Thingamajig 1) Choir Boy. The boy that we thought was smart, funny, and decently good looking.
It was a big lie. He is a d-bag. He's not that smart, he's really not that funny, and when you look at him closely it seems that he's been hit in the face by a slow moving object. Multiple times.

Bitter? No way. Never.

He's in Free The Children and apparently this makes him rebellious. Interesting. Good enough to two time me before we've really even started dating.

First of all, a girl with cleavage like mine doesn't date a guy with a face like his.

Secondly, while I seem much quieter than him (maybe that's because I can never get a word in) I have a much higher IQ. Well, it's not hard having a higher IQ than a doorknob, but still.

After going on our date (he called me out of the blue and asked me for dinner - he had reservations made) he texts me saying he's seeing a girl in Toronto from Free The Children. They're trying it long distance, but they've both agreed that they can date other people. Choir Boy says that we can still date if I want to. IF I WANT TO? No thank you. I'm not desperate.

He keeps trying to talk to me and be friendly, but I'm not having it right now.

Shoes (a guy in my drama class) is planning on getting Choir Boy to the gay bar with us so we can set Ass Raper on him.

Who is Ass Raper you ask?

Thingamajig 2) Well, Shoes and I went to Play, a gay bar on Jasper Avenue last night with the U of A OUTReach group. This is a group for lesbians, gays, bisexuals, etc, and the people who support them (being me). I was the token straight girl, it was awesome. We met up with a group on campus and headed off. Almost immediately Shoes spots Draham, a cute first year drama major just like us. They start talking. And talking. And talking.

We get to the club and we've become a threesome. We're having tones of fun drinking drinks with rude names. I had to get the boys to order the drinks for me because I couldn't say their names. Yes, the P and C word were involved.

Anyways. We start dancing and this gay guy taps me on the shoulder and twirls me around. He asks me to dance with this crazy look on his face so I said no. He didn't take no for an answer. He started thrusting against my butt with one of the most awkward boners I've ever felt in my life. He was thursting so hard that I got propelled forward into Draham and Shoes. They formed a blockade around me and Shoes sacrificed himself for my butt virginity.

We forced our way out of the dance crowd and it felt like being born - you shoot out of there like no one's business. I was laughing so hard I was crying. I haven't had this much fun in awhile.

We go back to dancing a little later and Ass Raper finds me again. I agree to dance and he whips me around so my back is facing him and he grabs onto my hip with one hand and my chest with the other. People cheer and I was terrified. Shoes and Draham look at me with their eyes wide open so I decide to get into it. I hold my hands above my hand and Ass Raper holds my hands.

I free myself eventually. He tells me he loves me. I am satisfied.

I was dancing on a mini stage podium area with the boys and decide that I am going to slutty dance.

And you know how I get when I slutty dance.

I was shaking my hips like Shakira and I think I turned some gay guys straight.

The good thing about gay bars is that you don't care what you look like (there wasn't a straight guy to be seen) and everyone is so happy. It's like a little community, they all take care of each other and love one another. Not in a kinky way guys, get your minds out of the gutter.

So all in all I had a great night. And so did Shoes and Draham! I think they're an item now.
I have done my good deed.

xx miss you all.