Tell Me What To Do About You

The situation turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Something was starting up with Kanye and I again. The late night phone calls, the "it was so great to see you again" text messages, the butterflies in the pit of my stomach when I saw his name on my phone,

and the disappointment.

Always letting me down but making up for it with that gorgeous voice of his. I thought he was done with the excuses and lies, but apparently people really can't change - no matter how badly you wish they could.


We were supposed to have a date tonight. He was going to make me dinner, we were going to watch a movie, and we were going to go for a walk. After our phone conversation the other night where I asked him if he really wanted to be with me, I thought things would be good. And they were... until I woke up.

He didn't talk to me for two days, then calls me today starting the conversation with "you're going to be SO pissed at me...". Not the best way to say hello, but it worked. Turns out he "forgot" we were going to hang out. I told him to call me back when he figured out how important I was to him.


I went to the gym to cool off and talked things out with Dino. I really care about Kanye and I don't want him out of my life, but it could never work between us. We want different things, we have different life styles and expectations, and we're going different places. Last year I blamed timing on us not working out, but now I realize that it never could have worked out, regardless of timing.

It's not meant to be and I hope we can stay friends. I still want to hear that gorgeous voice every now and then.

I'm a little sad, but that will pass quickly. I know that this is right. It feels good. Like this is what was supposed to happen all along and only now am I mature enough to be in this place. I'm being unselfish and that's weird. Usually I hold any romance I can get close to my chest, but now I'm letting it go without a fight.


I'm not scared to be single. I need some "me" time.