That Is A Hard Thing To Do

My 20th birthday did not disappoint.
About 25 of my friends and I drank on the floor then went to a country bar at West Edmonton Mall called Whiskey Jack's. Multiple boy mistakes, 7 shots of tequila (that I REMEMBER) and lots of country music results in me being kicked out of the bar. Apparently this is a very hard thing to do. I, Shmemma, was kicked out of an Albertan bar. Oh I am so proud.
This is how it happened.

It was my birthday. I was really excited. I was saying goodbye to my teens and wanted to get really drunk. School has been kicking my ass and here I was presented with an entire weekend to forget my worries. Boy, did I try my hardest to forget them. So many free shots from everyone. A free shot every hour from the VIP lounge. 3$ highballs which I had lots of. I was totally fine... until about 1am. I'd started drinking at 6 and was perfect. I was messed up, but I was great. Everything was amazing... until Shorty took my phone and called P, leaving a nice little voicemail that went something like this..

"Hey! You're a complete idiot for letting the best girl on earth go. You know what? She loves me and I love her will all my heart. You fucked up!"
with me screaming ''no, no, no, no" in the background.

After the phone call, I dont really know what happened. I looked around all the whole world spun. Next thing I know, I'm sitting hunched over with my face about an inch from the ground. Within a few minutes of sitting, I looked up to Stoico said ''bathroom'' and off we went. I threw up 3 or 4 times in the bathroom of the bar, apparently punctuating a new wave of vomit with "Oh God, he called P." over and over and over again. Then I was escorted out of the bar by two nice big security guys. Kicked out with a ''have a nice night ladies!".

Stoico got a cab while WD hung me over the back of a car in the parking lot. Stoico got me a big garbage bag for the cab which I used... a little too much. I threw up so many times. I blacked out in the cab ride and don't really remember what was going on.

I was let past the Lister check point immediately because they reognized me. Phew, because I wouldn not have been able to find my ID, let alone say my own name.
Saw J Rock and Fruitvale in the hallway with some other 5k friends and apparently responded to their greetings by throwing up in said garbage bag. Next thing you know, I'm waking up the next morning to a phone call from my mum wishing me a happy birthday.

Oh jesus.

I texted P and apologized. Oh holy crap was he upset. He said the voicemail was ''incredibly threatening and rude" which is translated to "why the hell did you wake me up with this garbage? I was lying in bed with my girlfriend (who still doesn't know about you) and now I'm in trouble. Why are you in my life?". I apologized again and deleted his number from my phone, once and for all. No more waiting for me. He CLEARLY does not want anything to do with me.

Kanye called me last night. We talked and I was so out of it (incredibly exhausted) but I definitely caught an ''I miss you", an "I can't stop thinking about you" and an "I keep coming back because a bit of me is madly in love with you".
Oh jesus.

What am I going to do?

I just want it to be christmas.